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SIM Couple Work to Bring Reconciliation to Divided City

[Image]If God had told us, back in 2007, “Toby and Alycia, I want you to join me on the frontline of a spiritual battle in a city where my enemy is dividing people through fear, misunderstanding and hatred; to show my love and help with reconciliation,” we probably would have followed Jonah's lead and run in the opposite direction!

Yet, here we are, four and half years later, ready to do just that. We are excited to announce that we have rented a small building, 3 blocks from the Jos Central Mosque, to be used for community outreach. The neighborhood is mixed, with Muslims living in one direction and Christians in the other. We are so excited to start this work, and a bit in awe of God's working.

But what happened to the BRICC (Bauchi Road Community Center), the building we already have?

Nansik the Little Fighter

Nansik at the gate

From the blog of Missy Camiola

About a year and a half ago, we started going into a filthy brothel, we call the blue place.  We soon met several girls who were very pregnant and working as prostitutes there.  We talked to the girls about Christ and encouraged them to leave the life of prostitution before their babies were born.  They did not leave.

We then tried to encourage the mothers to leave once their children were born.  One mother did leave, but without her daughter, Nansik.  As soon as we realized that Nansik’s mother had abandoned her, I asked the brothel owner, Mamma, if I could take the baby and care for it.  Mamma asked me how much I was willing to pay for the child.  I assured her that I wasn’t interested in buying a child, but I was interested in helping her and if ever she needed me to take the baby, I would be more than happy to do so. 

Over the next year, I had several conversations like this with Mamma and they all ended the same way with her saying, no.  Many babies come and go in this brothel, but Mamma believes that Nansik is the daughter of her grandson, so she did not intend to let her go. 

The girls are home with their mother

Village of girls' grandparentsHelping a widow regain custody of her two girls. One complication: the woman had murdered her husband.

Rachel was imprisoned for murdering her husband. Her husband was very abusive to her, so abusive that she went to her parents' house for protection. Her husband came to her parents' house, came up behind her while she was cleaning the dishes and started to beat her. She had a pounder in her hand (used for pounding yams) and swung it around to defend herself, cracking his skull and resulting in his death.

In Nigeria, a woman and her children are considered property of her husband and when he dies, the children and home become property of his family. The woman rarely gets anything to possess, not even the children.

When Rachel (not her real name) got out of prison, she had no where to go, no way to support herself and no hope of getting her three daughters back. We took her into Grace Gardens where now she has a safe, clean home to live in. She is no longer being abused, she is learning to sew, and we took on the task of getting her children back. It was not to be as simple as I thought.

Outrageous

Someone has remarked that suffering “is any experience that causes internal or external duress physically, emotionally, spiritually, or relationally…In this fallen world all mankind suffers. [But] it is God’s people alone for whom suffering brings the outrageous opportunity for both temporary and eternal benefit. Indeed, it is in the context of suffering that God's redemption work can be powerfully experienced” (Tender Care, p. 146). What a remarkable perspective!

This summer we have watched, in several different contexts, God's people have the “opportunity” to experience suffering.

  • Christian Nigerian widows and their mentors. Being a widow in Nigeria can mean losing your home, your primary means of support and retirement, and perhaps your children to the father's family. Some Evangelical Missionary Society (EMS) widows lose their husbands because of their testimony. See, for example, the story of Rev. Isma Dogari, the late husband of widow Agnes.
  • Cheryl Pridham fills the tank to give the house running water.

    Cheryl Pridham fills the tank to give the house running water.

    I recently visited an ECWA school for widows two hours from Jos, where two SIM missionary sisters, Donna and Cheryl Pridham, are training sixty Christian widows are training in Biblical studies and life skills. The goal is not only spiritual growth but also to help them support themselves and their children.It's not an easy location, especially when there is civil unrest in nearby towns. I also met with the teen-age daughter of one of the widows, who is continuing to recover from a traumatic experience during the post-election violence.

Bright walls hide chained hearts

A glimpse inside a Nigerian brothel

Missy (left) and Karis trying to teach little  Abigail how to eat a sucker. Abigail lives with her mother in this brothel.

Missy (left) and Karis trying to teach little Abigail how to eat a sucker. Abigail lives with her mother in this brothel.

This week I went to two brothels with Missy and Karis, two SIM missionaries here to do a short Bible study with some of the women. Missy and Karis go every week to visit and study the Bible study with the prostitutes. Sometimes they are receptive, and other times not.

It surprised me that the owners would allow us to bring in the gospel, something that could potentially put them out of business. Even more unfathomable, though, was not that they let us in but that the owner of one of these brothels is a leader in his church. The Bible says people will know we are Christians by our love. What love is there in running a business that allows women to sell themselves? At first I was disgusted but then all I felt was pity. He's fooled himself into thinking that being a church leader can earn his way into heaven.

The first brothel was dark and the atmosphere heavy, as I expected. The second one, though, had yellow painted walls and a somewhat cheerful feel, definitely not what I expected. I realized that what distinguished the two was not the bright colors or good lighting but the attitude of the women. In the first, the women seemed heavy, as if you could see the burden of work hanging on their shoulders. In the yellow brothel, women were going about the morning as if everything was normal, singing and joking with one another while doing the morning's chores. Walking in with no prior knowledge you might've thought it some type of housing project.

I discovered why the women of the yellow brothel seemed so normal: their hearts were almost completely chained up, Letting themselves feel nothing was the easiest way to avoid the pain. Karise mentioned that just a week earlier one of the woman had said something like, “You think we want to live like this, that we don't know what we're doing is wrong? This place has us all in chains.” It was just a brief glimpse of her heart, though, because this week she was silent.

Some might say that the pain is deserved, as the women have chosen this life. True, as far as we know these women aren't trafficked or held against their will, but what looks like a short-term solution to poverty turns into a long-term slavery to debt and hopelessness. I imagine it's the latter that makes it so difficult for these women to leave. If you believed there was nothing better for you outside—and at least here you get food, clothes, and shelter—why would you leave? Steal a person's hope and you have their freedom.

You might think that someone living like this would jump at the chance to escape, would be open to the prospect of a Savior who could set her free from this life. Mama Rahila ran the first brothel. She told us that she knew what she was doing was wrong and felt her sin piling up. Still she didn't leave, saying that only if God would find her another business could she go. What Mama Rahila and many of the others the women can't come to terms with is the depravity of their lives, hence the hardened hearts. How do you convince someone living like this that the power of Christ's death can break those chains?

The hardest thing for me to accept about the brothels was the children. One girl in particular, Mama, caught my eye. She came right up to me and within minutes we were playing and laughing. It was as if the reality of her life hadn't touched her yet. Naivety and a child-like ignorance had spared her these past ten years of her life. Then it hit home: ten years old… the same age as my little sister. How much longer would it be until Mama was ushered into the same lifestyle? Five or ten years? Only three? I prayed that Missy's idea of buying the brothel and rehabilitating the women happens before Mama stops smiling.

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